Alone versus In Relationship.
“I choose to release any belief that I need to be within a relationship to be happy or accomplish my goals.”
The nature of individuality means that although being in a relationship may relieve feelings of alienation or loneliness, it does not resolve them. Unless you intend never to be alone — which many attempt — to resolve the feeling of loneliness, you must not be afraid to fully meet it inside yourself.
Embrace your feeling of being alone.
Do not fear or run from it; it is not the cause of any unhappiness or negativity you may feel. The power and potential of all that companionship can only arise when you have met, embraced, and transformed your fear of being alone.
Unless you know you can stand alone — unless your heart realizes it can flourish in this life — you cannot fully stand in union with another person because a part of your relationship will always be governed by your fear of being alone. In this state, you are separated from a part of yourself, and your fear will manifest through your choices.
To experience Unified Diversity — as well as realizing the unity of all life — you must embrace your singularity / your uniqueness / your diversity. Unified Diversity is the allowance of both unity and separation. This is to embrace all that you are — instead of only the parts that feel connected — because it is to realize that even that which feels disconnected is still you. To only love that which feels connected is to be within a dualistic viewpoint (because to perceive and divide what feels connected from what does not feel connected is an action that can only arise within polarized perception).
- Only when you give up the search for another person to complete you will you find the completeness that arises from loving all that you are.
- Only when you find the love that you seek within you will you find its reflection out in the world.
This is the nature of our reality. The ‘dream relationship’ with another person is primarily birthed through having the dream relationship with yourself first. Until that is in place, all external relationships will only ever point you back to resolving your fear of being alone.
Only by releasing your need to be with another person is it possible for your relationship to be based on equality. If you are alone, love it. If you are in a relationship, love it. Neither of these states is the cause or cure of loneliness.
Transform your loneliness by loving it. Love it by celebrating it.
There is nothing you cannot do on your own.
CLARIFICATIONS & REFLECTIONS
Any thought of “I will be happy when …” is a statement that denies you happiness in the present moment. This is to deny that in every moment, you have the choice to take an empowering vantage point on your circumstances — ‘the glass is half full’ — versus a disempowering vantage point — ‘the glass is half empty.’
There is no ‘wrongness,’ shame, or need for regret in choosing a negative vantage point. Just recognize it is a choice to live in a reality you feel unhappy about (as opposed to one for which you feel gratitude). The amount of resistance a person has to the idea they are ‘choosing to be unhappy’ is proportionate to how much they feel a victim of their reality (as opposed to the creator of it).
Being alone and being in a relationship are both qualities of the mortal experience made possible by our individuality.
To step out of dualistic perception is to cease to polarize those qualities such that ‘being alone is bad’ and ‘being in a relationship is good.’ It is to surrender to both fully (with the understanding that all you do fully, you do equally). For some, this is about opening themselves to the positive aspects of being alone. Conversely, for other people, it is about releasing their attachment to the control of being alone and opening their hearts to the uncertainty of loving someone else. Whatever dualistic quality it may be — alone-together, happy-unhappy, ill-healthy, rich-poor — the resolution lies in seeing the relative equality of both states. Only then can you choose between them in freedom (instead of from a state of fear).
Many people want to be in a relationship when they are alone. Then, when they are in a relationship — even when it is going well — they miss some of the freedoms they experienced when single. This is a form of self-sabotage through which a person continually diminishes their experience of the present moment. Seeing this behavior in yourself means you have already begun transforming it.
Text from ‘One Consciousness: The Matter of Consciousness’ — Check out my full library with free mp3 at https://limitlessness.com
