The spiritual insight that brought me to tears — being shown paradise broke my heart open.
“People want to believe they are free and yet they come up with reasons other than freedom as to why they are in human form.”
The depth of emotion you can experience when you let yourself speak from the heart is powerful. When I speak publicly about spirituality, I let the words spontaneously emerge. To allow your emotions to engulf you, you cannot censor yourself. To speak without a filter is to not be afraid of what you may say, even though you are lost within an uncontrolled stream of consciousness.
The experience I am going to tell you about happened during a weekend Internet broadcast that my husband and I held with a small in-person audience. We explored what it is to be human and what is so special about polarized perception.
Polarized perception is the ability to see things as separate and diverse.
Paradoxically, it was from this appreciation of duality that I experienced an untwisting of my dualistic perception and a perceptual curtain was pulled back to reveal a vision of reality that showed all life to be like books in an infinite library of selves. Where, as we move between realities, we move between books.
This was a view of the wider non-physical reality I have seen many times before, except this time, I saw streams of light traveling from all over this library toward the Earth. This ‘vision’ showed me, with a clarity that made it undeniable, how the Earth is not somewhere people are trying to get away from. Earth is where spirit wants to be.
You are here on Earth, in a human form, because you want to be.
This realization of your sovereignty is a key message I have spoken about before. However, as much as I have always believed it to be true for spirit (our state of consciousness when we are free from fear), it was not until this vision broke my heart open that I realized I did not fully believe it was true for me (from the perspective of my incarnate self). The sensation of my heart breaking open was a delusion shattering within me that had come from experiencing people’s resistance to the full implications of being a free creator.
When you explore your consciousness, it is easier to focus on the mental revelations because it is easier to put them into words. What is far harder to capture in language (or even memory) are the emotions felt within a spiritual revelation. ‘You are free’ is a popular and readily accepted message that feels good. However, we tend to just think of this as being free as human beings, whereas if you expand this to ‘you are free eternal consciousness,’ then the next implication is ‘you create your human reality.’ As wonderful as that initially sounds, the problem with “you are the creator of this experience” is that it means the only reason you are in human form is because you want to be.
People want to believe they are free and yet they come up with reasons other than freedom (their own free will choice) as to why they are in human form.
The biggest conundrum in my teaching experience is that people want to hear “You are free” and “You create your reality,” but they do not want to be told, “You want to be in human form so much so that you keep coming back here and that’s the only reason you are here now.”
If you want to believe you are the creator of your reality, then you cannot say you don’t want to be in human form any longer (because if that’s how you felt, then that is what would be).
Many people believe they will not return to the human experience because of the myriad of teachings about ‘ascension’ that essentially seek to offer freedom from human pain through the belief in your ability to escape it (and, by extension, escape being human). Spiritual teachings that talk about ascension are not paths to enlightenment. They are the path of pain avoidance through idealism and separation from whatever is deemed “unenlightened.”
Enlightenment is the experience of being without fear (which is the knowing of eternal consciousness).
The desire to ascend to a “higher” plane is based on a fear-based rejection of your current reality (because you feel it has hurt you). However, enlightenment can never be reached as a response to fear because to be enlightened is to be without fear.
- There are no higher planes or lower planes.
- There are infinite, equal planes.
My vision of life flowing toward the Earth made me realize that I was still harboring a negative belief about my own desire to be here. In my vision of flowing consciousness, I was not just seeing that ‘spirit in general’ wants to experience being in human form; I saw that when I die and enter this infinite library of possibilities, I would, once again, experience the excitement for the Earth that I had witnessed. I saw no ‘spirit in general,’ and then me — that illusion of separation is lost when we leave our physical form.
Consciousness outside of physical form is unified / connected.
Directly seeing the excitement of spirit to be human was incredible. I was experiencing the deepest confirmation of ‘we are each where we want to be’ that I have ever experienced. This clarity formed a curtain that was pulled back to reveal that everyone is exactly where they want to be. This was to the degree that we will each keep choosing to rebirth here, no matter how difficult and painful it can be. Therefore, an entirely fitting word for where we are is what religion calls “heaven”(or you could equally use “Nirvana”).
If heaven is where everyone wants to be, then this is heaven.
Accept you are in paradise to be in paradise.
Paradise is not ‘out there’ — it is met within your choice of perception.
Because of how intolerant, abusive, and unkind religion has become, ‘Heaven’ has become a divisive word. However, ‘Heaven’ used to simply be the word for where everyone wanted to go when they died. Heaven was a word that described where everyone wanted to be. Meaning … the place where everyone wants to be — wherever that may be — is the place we call heaven, paradise, or Nirvana.
My heart breaking open was caused by the destruction of my delusion that I could possibly prefer to be somewhere else. I saw with a profound knowing that not only are we all exactly where we want to be (and that is at every level of our being from our incarnate self to the one eternal consciousness).
For a moment, it was terrifying. Why? Because this realization obliterated the final part of me that was still trying to escape. It crushed the life out of it like an angry gardener stamping on a slug. It was shocking, and for a heart-stopping moment, I feared something was being taken from me.
I felt fear because I was releasing fear.
But what I was witnessing was not saying, “You cannot escape!” It said, “You are infinitely free, but the Earth is the place where you will keep discovering who you want to be. You will keep on birthing in human form again and again. Accept this is where you want to be. Accept this reality as paradise to see the paradise before you.”
As hard as it was to feel the whole of reality open up, smile, and then quickly turn me back to my human self, it was also the healing of the wounds that led me to dream of leaving this place. The feeling of pain was the feeling of my own rebirth.
Oprah Winfrey often asks, “What do you know for sure?”
I know that:
We are within the human experience through our own free choice because it excites us.
and
Consciousness that is not in fear never chooses to suffer for any idea of a “greater good.”
To knowingly endure hardship to serve a greater purpose is a relic (that is still alive and kicking in this world) left over from the indoctrinated belief that we are human because we are fallen. All ideas of “The Greater Good” are fear-based. The greater good is a divisive idea, not a unifying one.
“My good is greater than your good,” is always fear-based.
It is normal to feel resistance (sometimes manifest as anger) at being told that you will keep coming back to the Earth. The magnitude of that resistance relates to how hard your life has been. This is why healing the past is so vital to your feeling of inner peace. The past lives within us as not only emotional wounds but also mental wounds in the form of negative beliefs.
“This world is a painful place I hope to never return to” is a life-destroying negative belief that will eat you from the inside out. If you feel angry at these words, then allow that anger. Knowing that ‘you want to be human’ is the strongest foundation on which you can build your belief system. You can also use your resistance to it as a gauge of how much fear you are carrying. This is a key to living in balance because we each live within the experience of our own beliefs.
Although we can yell out our anger and wave our beliefs about in ways that can hurt others (when we speak from our fear-based intolerance), the person most affected by our negative beliefs is ourselves because of how that negativity twists our perception. As long as you harbor — instead of confronting — your pain (and its associated negativity), you will live within the experience that the grass is greener on the other side of the hill.
The grass is greenest right below your feet. That is why you are standing here. That is why you are human. Love this choice to love yourself.
You have every right to feel angry at the painful events you have experienced, and you have every right to curse out ‘God,’ ‘the universe,’ or humanity. Be angry until you feel done with it. Despite that anger, you will choose to be human again. I want you to know this because when it truly sinks in, you will commit to finding happiness in a stronger and more powerful way than ever before.
Whether or not you have believed these words, think about this one thing. How would you live differently if you knew for sure you will keep returning to the human experience?
I have seen it. I have no choice. I can’t deny it any longer. And what I tell you is that, after the initial shock, I am now embracing my life like never before, and that is the incredible gift I took from speaking from my heart that weekend.
To love yourself is to love your choice to be human.
Speak from your heart without filtering yourself and you will discover more of who you are.
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